The 2 week wait is over

A little over two weeks ago Jordan and I did our first IUI with our new doctor and the third IUI since we started this.  Let me say that these past two weeks have been some of the hardest times we've ever had to deal with.  Our two week wait was not on our minds because our hearts were breaking for our family.  Our precious little nephew went into the hospital during our first week.  He went through a lot of testing until we were finally given the news that he was not going to make it.  Our family gathered around to be with our precious Cooper, my brother, and sister-in-law.  The second week of our wait was spent grieving.  We lost Cooper just 2 days before he would be three months old.  It is one of the hardest weeks I have ever been through.  On Thursday we had a celebration of Cooper's life...a very long, emotional day.  The next day, Friday, marked two weeks from our IUI.  I woke up with a bad feeling about it.  I took the pregnancy test and set it down to wait.  I watched as only one line showed up and there was no sign of the second line appearing.  I knew in my gut that it was going to be negative, and my gut was right.  I felt defeated.  I prayed that God would just give me the strength to make it through the day.  Fortunately, I had a busy day ahead of me at work and it took my mind right off of it.  As I started to look back at the last two weeks I would think did I do something wrong to make it not work: was my stress level too high, were my emotions too much, did I mess with things at work that I shouldn't have, did I eat food I wasn't supposed to.  I just seemed to blame myself for the fact that it didn't work.  My struggle through this whole process has been with blaming myself instead of trusting that God is in control.  I am asking that you pray along with me that I may be able to keep trusting God and putting all my faith in him.  The doctor is having us go through the same process again so it will be another week before anything new happens.